


Broken Glass

by MusicPrincess655



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Dubious Consent, I actually made myself cry while writing this, I didn't set out to hurt Tobio this bad, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 06:34:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7497891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicPrincess655/pseuds/MusicPrincess655
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A spinoff of Things Will Fall Apart, this is what happened in Kageyama's flashback in chapter seven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Glass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Che1seaLovesYouAll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Che1seaLovesYouAll/gifts), [ImotoChan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImotoChan/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Things Will Fall Apart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5241323) by [ImotoChan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImotoChan/pseuds/ImotoChan). 



> Written for a request, based off [ Things Will Fall Apart ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5241323)

“Hey, Kageyama.”

Tobio doesn’t look up from his desk. He’d never quite been able to forget Kindaichi was in the room with him, but he’s desperately trying to focus on his math homework. Math is one of his better subjects, but he hadn’t been able to concentrate in class lately, and he needs the grades to get into high school. He’s been studying more, hoping to get into Shiratorizawa.

“Yes, Kindaichi-kun?” he replies, polite as always, trying to sound nonchalant. Maybe Kindaichi will leave him alone to do his homework.

“Are you really not applying to Aoba Johsai?”

Tobio steels himself before turning around to face his boyfriend. This is exactly the conversation he hoped never to have, not now when he’s just starting to wonder if a boyfriend should really treat him the way Kindaichi treats him.

“Yes,” he says, choosing to focus on the volleyball rolling in Kindaichi’s hands rather than Kindaichi himself.

“Where do you want to go, then?” Kindaichi asks, sitting up and focusing on the volleyball too. “Seijoh has the best team. Oikawa-san is there. So is Iwaizumi-san. Me and Kunimi are both applying there.”

Tobio bites his lip. Is it really that hard for Kindaichi to understand that that’s the exact reason he doesn’t want to go? Doesn’t want to spend another three years with a senpai who can’t stand him, refuses to teach him? Doesn’t want to spend another three years getting kicked and beaten while his team does nothing to stop it, only to abandon him in the end anyway?

Not that he can tell Kindaichi any of this, anyway. Telling Kindaichi will only cause more bruises and scratches and bites.

“I’m going to apply to Shiratorizawa. Maybe Date Tech and Karasuno.”

“I understand the first two, but Karasuno? Their team hasn’t made nationals in so long.” Kindaichi frowns down at the ball. Maybe he’s starting to realize that what Tobio meant was _anywhere that’s not with you._ “It’s not too late to apply to Aoba Johsai.”

As if Tobio will give up his freedom when he can practically taste it.

“I don’t want to,” he snaps, already regretting his tone as he turns back to his homework. That tone will get him hurt, he was trying to avoid confrontation.

“Kageyama,” Kindaichi starts, and oh, Tobio shouldn’t have snapped, this is exactly what he wanted to avoid. He was just trying to do his homework, that’s all he wants. He shudders. “Come here.”

Tobio shuffles over to the bed. He doesn’t really understand why he’s still so afraid of Kindaichi. Kindaichi might be stronger, but he’s faster, and anyway, this is his house even if his mother’s not home to protect him.

Kindaichi takes his wrist, pulls him down for a kiss. Tobio kisses back out of instinct rather than any desire. The kiss doesn’t feel good. Tobio wonders if the kisses ever felt good.

“I want to do it,” Kindaichi murmurs, trailing kisses over Tobio’s jaw. Tobio swallows and tries not to visibly tense up, tries not to let Kindaichi know how scared those words make him, but he’s so scared, pinned under Kindaichi’s weight on the bed.

“What?”

“You know what I mean, Kageyama, don’t play dumb.” Kindaichi grins as he looks into Tobio’s eyes. Maybe he can’t see the fear there. Maybe he does and it excites him.

“I don’t want to,” Tobio says as he looks away. This has never worked for him before, but he stares longingly at his homework. Never did he think the day would come when he was desperate for math, but Kindaichi has always brought out the worst in him.

Kindaichi unzips Tobio’s jacket, and Tobio wants to sob with the knowledge that he won’t escape, this time or maybe ever. Propping himself up, Kindaichi runs his hands over the sides of Tobio’s chest.

“Your fingers are cold, Kindaichi-kun,” Tobio mumbles. It’s the only complaint he can voice without making things worse for himself. He covers his face with his arm, hiding however he can. Kindaichi is quiet for a moment before chuckling.

“That sounds like something you’d say,” he says, removing Tobio’s arm and pushing him back into the bed. He trails kisses down Tobio’s chest, and Tobio can’t keep himself from tensing up this time. “Do you really not want to?”

As if Kindaichi wouldn’t take what he wanted whether Tobio agreed or not.

“I don’t care,” Tobio says, rolling his head to the side, biting his lip and staring at the wall. He tries to go completely limp, tries to force his mind out of his own body. He’s heard about that before, out of body experiences, and he wishes he could have one, or lots, every time Kindaichi touches him so he would never have to feel it again.

“Good,” Kindaichi says, nipping at Tobio’s skin, praising him as if he had a choice.

Tobio stays limp as Kindaichi pulls his belt out of his pants, pulls his pants off, tries to not feel any of it. He ignores Kindaichi as he sheds his own clothes, only looking up to see Kindaichi’s smooth, tan skin, unmarked by bruises and scars. He tentatively reaches out to touch Kindaichi’s chest, remembering when his own was that smooth, pulling back his hand while blushing. Kindaichi looks surprised but pleased, but Tobio didn’t do that for him.

“Condom and lube?” Kindaichi asks, and Tobio almost hates his traitorous body for shuddering as if it didn’t know exactly where this was going. He gestures to his bedside table. Might as well get this over with.

Kindaichi digs around, pulling out the tube and the condom, dropping them both on the bed beside Tobio before pouring lube on his fingers. He shoves on unceremoniously into Tobio and Tobio bites back a cry.

It hurts, it _hurts,_ it hurts so goddamn much and Tobio can’t help how hard he pants, in time with Kindaichi as he desperately tries to make it hurt _less_. It only hurts worse when Kindaichi shoves another finger in. From what Tobio’s looked up, it shouldn’t hurt this bad. Tops are supposed to prepare their partners gently, give them time to relax and stretch them out, but Kindaichi hadn’t been gentle with him in a long time.

Sometimes Kindaichi’s fingers press to his prostate, and that gives him little jolts of pleasure, but those are outweighed by the pain of being stretched too far too fast. Tobio feels like he’s being split in two, just like he always does when they do this.

Kindaichi must decide he’s ready, because he pulls his fingers out and reached for the condom. Tobio feels the cold grip of dread in his gut that he always feels as Kindaichi lines them up, shoving into him too fast and not giving him time to adjust.

It hurts even worse then. The pain is getting worse and worse, it _hurts_ and Tobio wants nothing more than to make it stop. What if he really can split in half like he feels like he will?

Still, every so often a thrust will hit something right, and through all the pain in his body Tobio will feel a little hint of pleasure. He chases that, because Kindaichi claims to love him, and if this is all love makes him worth, shouldn’t he at least have some meaning in all of this? Shouldn’t he want this too, if it really is love?

“K-kindaichi…” Tobio gasps, unsure if he’s calling for Kindaichi or pleading with him to finish it, if the arms he reaches around Kindaichi’s neck are to pull him closer or strangle him. Kindaichi murmurs something back, but Tobio is too wrapped up in the pain everywhere to hear what it is.

He’s not even close to coming, body barely responding to Kindaichi. Sometimes he does respond, finish with Kindaichi. That happened a lot at the beginning, once he got over being so scared even if he didn’t want to do it. Now, though, he barely ever finishes, especially if Kindaichi doesn’t touch him like this time.

Kindaichi is close, though, hips stuttering, and Tobio can at least take some relief in that this is almost over. As he comes, he moans Tobio’s name. Tobio can’t move from the surprise.

“I love you, Kageyama,” Kindaichi says, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I love you.”

Tobio can only be grateful that he isn’t punished for not saying it back. He mechanically cleans himself up. Kindaichi starts to stroke his hair, which Tobio has to admit is kind of nice.

“Are you happy?” Tobio asks absently. Surely, Kindaichi has to get something out of this. Even if Tobio’s miserable, Kindaichi has to have some good reason for doing this.

“Something like that,” Kindaichi replies with a smile. Tobio knows that’s a lie. Kindaichi is not happy. That is a fake smile and his voice holds a lie. But Tobio doesn’t know what else to do, so instead he lets go of all the tears he’s been holding in since Kindaichi called him over to the bed.

Kindaichi sighs and hugs him tight, and Tobio tries to take some comfort from that, but there’s little comfort to be found in Kindaichi’s arms.

“They can’t know…my mom…she can’t know,” Tobio gasps, wiping at tears. As badly as he wants her to protect him, he knows he can’t let her find out about this. What would she say about him? Call him disgusting, pathetic, or even worse, kick him out of the house? He can’t let that happen. As bad as this is, he knows it could be so much worse. He’s so scared. He wonders what it’s like to not be scared. He can’t remember.

“I won’t say anything,” Kindaichi promises, flicking away a tear with his thumb. “She doesn’t need to know her son is like this, you know, that he’s this disgusting human.”

Tobio bites his lip and nods. That still hurts, even if it’s nothing he hasn’t already thought about himself. Somehow it hurts worse when Kindaichi confirms what he thinks of himself. He tries to stop crying. Tears won’t get him anywhere.

 _This isn’t love_ , a voice in the back of his mind whispers. _People fight and die for love. People work their entire lives to achieve love. Nobody would want it if this is all it is. This is not love._

Tobio bites his lip until it bleeds to keep from crying again, because if this isn’t love, if Kindaichi is using him for something that isn’t love, what could he possibly be worth?


End file.
